Dating over 50: It’s OK to be nervous, but don’t let that stop you

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Contemplating dating when you’re 50, older, and more “seasoned” can feel daunting, especially if you’ve recently ended a long-term marriage or relationship. The dating landscape has likely changed, with fewer phone calls and emails and more reliance on texts, dating apps, and social media.

But, as cheesy as it sounds, love is a wonderful thing, and to get there, you often have to navigate the world of dating. If you’re in this situation, here are some tips to help you approach dating over 50:

Take Time for Self-Reflection

Before diving into the dating pool, take some time for self-reflection. Consider the following questions:

1. What do I want this time around: another marriage, a committed relationship, or something else?

2. What kind of partner will make me happy?

3. What do I need in a partnership to be happy and successful?

4. Have I done the work to grow and understand myself better since the end of my last relationship?

5. How do I envision my daily interactions with a new partner?

Knowing what you want is crucial, especially when dealing with factors like children, blended families, and financial concerns.

Embrace Your Nervousness

It’s normal to feel nervous about reentering the dating scene, especially if it’s been a while. Acknowledge your nervousness but don’t let it hold you back. Understand that fear is part of the process, and you don’t have to be perfect at something you haven’t done in ages. Embrace the opportunity to explore, be curious, and learn.

Change your perspective on dating, view it as a chance to create a new story, and be excited about the possibilities.

Utilize Dating Apps

Online dating has become a significant part of the dating landscape. Consider using one or two dating apps to expand your options. Treat online dating as a large social gathering, where you want to be present. Not everyone you meet will be the right fit, but there are great people out there who could be compatible with you.

However, don’t limit yourself to apps. Stepping out of your comfort zone and engaging in activities you enjoy can also help you meet potential partners.

Create a Daily Dating Routine

Recognizing that you have responsibilities and limited time, create a strategic dating routine. Allocate 15 minutes in the morning and evening to check dating apps, send/respond to messages, and schedule dates. This approach helps manage dating fatigue and allows you to share information gradually rather than overwhelming yourself or others.

Approach dating with a mindset of making friends, having fun, and meeting interesting people. Share your story in bits rather than revealing everything too early.

Discuss Past Relationships Thoughtfully

When connecting with someone new, the topic of past relationships may arise. Save in-depth conversations about your previous marriage or relationship for later dates, typically between the fifth and tenth date. Avoid carrying feelings of shame or failure; recognize that relationships evolve and change, and there’s no such thing as a failed marriage.

Approaching dating over 50 requires self-awareness, a positive mindset, and strategic planning. By taking these steps, you can navigate the dating world with confidence and increase your chances of finding a meaningful connection.

 

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